Emails: Emmett Cullen to Carlisle Cullen
by YoursTruly101
Summary: "Eye of the Tiger." Requested sequel to Emails: Esme Cullen to Bella Cullen...oh goodness Emmett! What have we told you about matches? And how could you ever harm Gingersnap?
1. Chapter 1

**Emails: Carlisle Cullen to Emmett Cullen, Eye of the Tiger**

_**A/N**__—This is a sequel to "Emails: Esme Cullen to Bella Cullen." Emails from Emmett Cullen were written by me, YoursTruly101, and emails from Carlisle Cullen were written by my friend CarsmeCarlislexEsme. Go check her out! If you haven't read the Esme and Bella emails yet, go check them out, too!_

**To: carlislecullen **

**From: emmettdabombdotcomcullen**

**Subject: Eye of the Tiger**

DAD,

So guess what I just did... are you guessing... you better be guessing... well I'll tell you anyway! I just drove around following joggers and bikers with my windows down, blasting "Eye of the Tiger" for encouragement.

Love your favorite son,

Emmett

**To: emmettdabombdotcomcullen**

**From: carlislecullen**

Emmett,

How much money is it this time to bail you out of jail.

~ Dr. Carlisle Cullen M.D.

**To: carlislecullen **

**From: emmettdabombdotcomcullen**

None. I am not in jail. I am insulted. You are so rude to me.

**To: emmettdabombdotcomcullen**

**From: carlislecullen**

Emmett...how many time have you been in jail for slaking/harassing people...refresh my memory.

~ Dr. Carlisle Cullen M.D.

**To: carlislecullen **

**From: emmettdabombdotcomcullen**

...only three... jeeze... way to make me feel like a fail at life, dad... thanks...

**To: emmettdabombdotcomcullen**

**From: carlislecullen**

REALLY? Only three... wow... I guess you're a better kid than I thought! Nice job Em!

~ Dr. Carlisle Cullen M.D.

**To: carlislecullen **

**From: emmettdabombdotcomcullen**

Awe! Thank you!

370HSSV 0773H

Hey... read this upside down...

**To: emmettdabombdotcomcullen**

**From: carlislecullen**

I"m calling your mother...she's going to wash your mouth out with soap...

~ Dr. Carlisle Cullen M.D.

**To: carlislecullen **

**From: emmettdabombdotcomcullen**

...so...

**To: emmettdabombdotcomcullen**

**From: carlislecullen**

How'd the soap taste Mr. Naughty Mouth?

~ Dr. Carlisle Cullen M.D.

**To: carlislecullen **

**From: emmettdabombdotcomcullen**

I talked mom out of it... Imma good talker!

**To: emmettdabombdotcomcullen**

**From: carlislecullen**

Ya...but I make better promises ;) if you catch my drift? Have fun.

~ Dr. Carlisle Cullen M.D.

**To: carlislecullen **

**From: emmettdabombdotcomcullen**

Ew. Ew. Ew. Uncalled for Pops.

And I have to go now... Rose is wearing a red dress...

**To: emmettdabombdotcomcullen**

**From: carlislecullen**

Yes, it's uncalled for if I do it but completely fine if you do. Sorry, son, I don't think Rose will want to kiss you if your mouth tastes like soap!

~ Dr. Carlisle Cullen M.D.

**To: carlislecullen **

**From: emmettdabombdotcomcullen**

It is totally acceptable for me. Duh.

Mom didn't put soap in my mouth so ha! And what if Rose wasn't kissing my mouth? Hm? Hmmmm?

**To: emmettdabombdotcomcullen**

**From: carlislecullen**

Why must you act like a three year old on speed? Where else would she kiss?

~ Dr. Carlisle Cullen M.D.

**To: carlislecullen **

**From: emmettdabombdotcomcullen**

I don't divulge the secrets of my love life, father.

Jasper says hi.

**To: emmettdabombdotcomcullen**

**From: carlislecullen**

Pfft...sex isn't always love Emmett.

Hello Jasper.

~Dr. Carlisle Cullen M.D.

**To: carlislecullen **

**From: emmettdabombdotcomcullen**

It is when I love her. Which is always.

Jazzisbringinsexybackcullen: Hey!

**To: emmettdabombdotcomcullen**

**From: carlislecullen**

Remind me again why i contined to change people after Esme...

~ Dr. Carlisle Cullen M.D.

**To: carlislecullen **

**From: emmettdabombdotcomcullen**

Because you are an amazing human being... wait... scratch that... Because you have a caring and loving heart, daddy. Fo shizzle.

Jazzisbringsexybackcullen: Fo shizzle, dawg. Yo.

**To: emmettdabombdotcomcullen**

**From: carlislecullen**

So how's stuff at home! What about Mom?

~ Dr. Carlisle Cullen M.D.

**PLEASE REVIEW IF YOU WANT MORE! :)**


	2. Chapter 2

**Emails: Carlisle Cullen to Emmett Cullen, Eye of the Tiger**

**Emails from Carlisle Cullen written by CarsmeCarlislexEsme. **

**Emails from Emmett Cullen written by me, YoursTruly101**

**To: carlislecullen **

**From: emmettdabombdotcomcullen**

You don't even question our sanity or sobriety? Damn. Slacker of father.

Home is good. Caught fire yesterday. Or a table did. No big deal. Mom painted her nails turquoise. We had family movie night last night. We watched Easy A.

**To: emmettdabombdotcomcullen**

**From: carlislecullen**

Emmett, Jasper, it's hard to question sanity if you"ve never had it!

WHAT! HOW IN GOD'S NAME DID YOU CATCH A TABLE ON FIRE!

Oh that's a pretty color. Tell her I miss her.

~ Dr. Carlisle Cullen M.D.

**To: carlislecullen **

**From: emmettdabombdotcomcullen**

You know... that question about our sanity is a very valid question.

And hm, I actually do not know how the table caught on fire... One minute I'm making a tower out of matches on the table and the next think I know there's a little fire in front of me. Mommy put it out...

**To: emmettdabombdotcomcullen**

**From: carlislecullen**

Yes I thought so. MAtch tower...Thhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaatttttttttt's Smart!

Of course she did...

~ Dr. Carlisle Cullen M.D.

**To: carlislecullen **

**From: emmettdabombdotcomcullen**

Error. Error. Error. This message could not be received. Error #: 675249. Please try again.

**To: emmettdabombdotcomcullen**

**From: carlislecullen**

Ha. Funny.

~ Dr. Carlisle Cullen M.D.

**To: carlislecullen **

**From: emmettdabombdotcomcullen**

Should I kick it in the front seat or the back seat?

**To: emmettdabombdotcomcullen**

**From: carlislecullen**

*Sigh* *Face palm

~ Dr. Carlisle Cullen M.D.

**To: carlislecullen **

**From: emmettdabombdotcomcullen**

No. Seriously. Rebecca is outside waiting for me. Back or front.

**To: emmettdabombdotcomcullen**

**From: carlislecullen**

Ask Bella.

~ Dr. Carlisle Cullen M.D.

**To: carlislecullen **

**From: emmettdabombdotcomcullen**

Why?

**To: emmettdabombdotcomcullen**

**From: carlislecullen**

Goodbye, son.

**To: carlislecullen **

**From: emmettdabombdotcomcullen**

What!

**PLEASE REVIEW IF YOU WANT MORE! :)**** This is all CarsmeCarlislexEsme and I have written right now, but we will only write more if you want more. **


	3. Chapter 3

**Emails: Emmett Cullen to Carlisle Cullen**

**Emails from Carlisle Cullen written by CarsmeCarlislexEsme.**

**Emails from Emmett Cullen written by me, YoursTruly101.**

**To: carlislecullen**

**From: emmettthebombdotcomcullen**

Dad? What? Why? Don't leave me! Where are you, by the way?

**To: emmettthebombdotcomcullen**

**From: carlislecullen**

I'm back. Sorry, I was in a meeting. I'm In Canada on business, also scouting out potential homes for us to move in to. Honestly, I need your mother's opinion. I'm no good at house stuff. Oh, and a small dog followed me back to my hotel...it won't leave.

~ Dr. Carlisle Cullen M.D.

**To: carlislecullen**

**From: emmettthebombdotcomcullen**

Don't eat it don't eat it don't eat it don't eat it don't eat it! It deserves to live, too! (puppy dog pout)

Ooo! A house! Can we have an indoor pool?

**To: emmettthebombdotcomcullen**

**From: carlislecullen**

I'm not going to eat it! I didn't eat the last dog we had...wasn't that you son.

Indoor Pool, good idea! I"ll check.

~ Dr. Carlisle Cullen M.D.

**To: carlislecullen**

**From: emmettthebombdotcomcullen**

INDOOR POOL INDOOR POOL INDOOR POOL!

No. That was not me. I would never eat an innocent little puppy.

**To: emmettthebombdotcomcullen**

**From: carlislecullen**

YES YOU DID YOU ATE GINGERSNAP! MY LITTLE GINGY!

This one is a cute little thing.

~ Dr. Carlisle Cullen M.D.

**To: carlislecullen**

**From: emmettthebombdotcomcullen**

...I'm a cute little thing...

I did not!

**To: emmettthebombdotcomcullen**

**From: carlislecullen**

YES YOU DID!

She's only a puppy, a little German Shepard... I'm naming her Poppy!

~ Dr. Carlisle Cullen M.D.

**To: carlislecullen**

**From: emmettthebombdotcomcullen**

:'( I did not.

**To: emmettthebombdotcomcullen**

**From: carlislecullen**

YES YOU DID! Esme and I went on vacation, and when we came back Gingersnap was gone! Alice said you ate her!

How pissed would Esme be I brought home this dog?

~Dr. Carlisle Cullen M.D.

**To: carlislecullen**

**From: emmettthebombdotcomcullen**

...I went to confession for it... I think I scared the priest...

I don't know... she's your wife... you ask her... stupid.

**To: emmettthebombdotcomcullen**

**From: carlislecullen**

Hey Emmet,

I found that taco you hid behind the toilet... a year ago. Maybe that's why you went to confession...

Emmet, you're an idiot. That was MY damn taco.

OMG! Guess WHAAAAT! Sarah Jessica Parker is coming for her annual Save Hermit the Moose parade! She's bringing her bazooka.

So Emmet, you scared the priest. I bet it was because you went in your clown/frying pan/chestnut costume. You know what, Esme sewed that costume for you. You abused it, you damn bastard!

Hmmm, I wonder if my Spanish soap is coming back. The next episode was supposed to be about a man-eating semi-translucent enchilada, But they canceled it because the producer accidentally killed himself with baking soda and a ninja star.

Well bye! I'm gonna go ride my donkey to Macy's. They are having a sale on microwaves and wild untamed savage tigers! Gonna get my self a tiger. Eeyyuupp.

BYE!

~ Dr. Carlisle Cullen M.D.

**To: carlislecullen**

**From: emmettthebombdotcomcullen**

You finally understand me, father. But no. It was my damn taco.

**To: carlislecullen**

**From: emmettthebombdotcomcullen**

No. But seriously. Are you high? Can vampires get high? Teach me your ways.

**A/N—So why did Carlisle send that extremely abnormal message? Hit the review button and let us know your thoughts! Also hit that favorite and alert button! **

**I would also like to know why he sent that message... because I have no idea either... A shout-out to Penny, the special guest author who wrote Carlisle's exceedingly OOC email. **


	4. Chapter 4

**Emails: Emmett Cullen to Carlisle Cullen**

**Emails from Carlisle Cullen written by CarsmeCarlislexEsme.**

**Emails from Emmett Cullen written by me, YoursTruly101.**

**To: emmettthebombdotcomcullen**

**From: carlislecullen**

Ehhhh... I don't know.

~ Dr. Carlisle Cullen M.D.

**To: carlislecullen**

**From: emmettthebombdotcomcullen**

Why? Do you not trust me with your ways?

**To: emmettthebombdotcomcullen**

**From: carlislecullen**

Emmett... no I don't never have... never will.

~ Dr. Carlisle Cullen M.D.

**To: carlislecullen**

**From: emmettthebombdotcomcullen**

Okay. Just clarifying... You've never been high or you don't trust me with your ways?

~ Docta Emmett Cullen

**To: emmettthebombdotcomcullen**

**From: carlislecullen**

Emmett...

First of all, I do not trust you.

Second of all, yes I have been.

Thrid, you are not a doctor.

Fourth, doctor does not have an A at the end... dumb ass.

~ Dr. Carlisle Cullen M.D.

**To: carlislecullen**

**From: emmettthebombdotcomcullen**

Carlisle...

First, why do you not trust me?

Second, can you teach me?

Third, that you know of.

Fourth, the kind of docta that I am... there is an a on the end... dumb ass.

~ Docta Emmett Cullen

**To: emmettthebombdotcomcullen**

**From: carlislecullen**

I am done speaking with you for the moment.

~Dr. Carlisle Cullen M.D.

**To: carlislecullen**

**From: emmettthebombdotcomcullen**

Why?

I love you, daddy,

Emmett

**To: emmettthebombdotcomcullen**

**From: carlislecullen**

I love you doesn't fix everything!

~Dr. Carlisle Cullen M.D.

**To: carlislecullen**

**From: emmettthebombdotcomcullen**

But my toolbox does.

~ The Beautiful Emmett Cullen

**To: emmettthebombdotcomcullen**

**From: carlislecullen**

The only tool you use can only fix Rosalie.

~Dr. Carlisle Cullen M.D.

**To: carlislecullen**

**From: emmettthebombdotcomcullen**

That was not a dirty innuendo. Why do you always assume I have a dirty mind? I am a mature adult, ya know!

~Oprah

**To: emmettthebombdotcomcullen**

**From: carlislecullen**

Um . . . sure, just keep telling yourself that! My special little Emmett!

~Dr. Carlisle Cullen M.D.

**To: carlislecullen**

**From: emmettthebombdotcomcullen**

You're so mean to me. I'm telling mom.

~Steve Jobs

**To: emmettthebombdotcomcullen**

**From: carlislecullen**

Ohhhhhhh not Esme!

~Dr. Carlisle Cullen M.D.

**To: carlislecullen**

**From: emmettthebombdotcomcullen**

Is that sarcasm?

~Dr. Love M.D.

**To: emmettthebombdotcomcullen**

**From: carlislecullen**

Figure it out.

~Dr. Carlisle Cullen M.D.

**To: carlislecullen**

**From: emmettthebombdotcomcullen**

You never answered my inquiry (see? I can use smart-sounding words, too!) about your special email about your soap opera and donkey and Macy's.

~Some kind of specialist

**To: emmettthebombdotcomcullen**

**From: carlislecullen**

Nothing. Forget about it.

~Dr. Carlisle Cullen M.D.

**To: carlislecullen**

**From: emmettthebombdotcomcullen**

Tell me.

~The President

**To: emmettthebombdotcomcullen**

**From: carlislecullen**

I had a little fun.

~Dr. Carlisle Cullen M.D.

**To: carlislecullen**

**From: emmettthebombdotcomcullen**

With your silly meds?

~Rachel Ray

**To: emmettthebombdotcomcullen**

**From: carlislecullen**

No. Your mother, Carmen, and Elizar. I like to go out and have a good time every so often.

~Dr. Carlisle Cullen M.D.

**To: carlislecullen**

**From: emmettthebombdotcomcullen**

But Esme was here when you sent that email. You were in Canada on business. See? No stopping me and my badass sleuthing skills. Now spill, dirtbag!

~J.K. Rowling & Stephanie Meyer (yepp! I'm the same person. Pretty badass, I know.)

**To: emmettthebombdotcomcullen**

**From: carlislecullen**

No . . . she was with us.

~Dr. Carlisle Cullen M.D.

**To: carlislecullen**

**From: emmettthebombdotcomcullen**

But . . . but . . . but . . .

~Abraham Lincoln

**To: emmettthebombdotcomcullen**

**From: carlislecullen**

We went out!

~Dr. Carlisle Cullen M.D.

**To: carlislecullen**

**From: emmettthebombdotcomcullen**

But boring drones don't out . . .

~Rachel Barry

**To: emmettthebombdotcomcullen**

**From: carlislecullen**

Ha. Shows how much you know! We have fun that you haven't even heard of!

**To: carlislecullen**

**From: emmettthebombdotcomcullen**

I invented fun, father.

~Richard Castle

**To: emmettthebombdotcomcullen**

**From: carlislecullen**

Pffft! You weren't born when fun was invented.

**To: carlislecullen**

**From: emmettthebombdotcomcullen**

Nuh uh! I am from the generation in which fun was invented. YOU are from the generation in which fire was invented.

~Kellan Lutz


End file.
